April 4, 2008

It's not always easy for me to make changes in my life. Even if I know it will benefit me or my health greatly. Sometimes I sort of have to be forced into it. Sad, but true. I was thinking about how four years ago I felt encouraged to stop drinking coffee because it made me feel so lousy afterwards. But, I so loved the ritual of going to the coffee shop, the smells, the taste. Everything was so comforting to me and felt like a mini-treat in the middle of my crazy life of chasing around three kids. Sort of like taking a bubble bath in the middle of the day. How could something that was so comforting and enjoyable also so unhealthy? It seemed so harmless. And, yet, now that I've researched these last several years on the damage caffeine does to our adrenals glands, I can see why my body was saying "stop putting that stuff in me" all the while my internal dialogue just kept overriding the messages.

I seem to have a habit of overriding my body's messages, and maybe other people's messages too. It's hard for me to let go of certain things because they are familiar, comforting and part of who I am or have been in the past. Yet, my soul comes into play too and it has a say. It says, "I want you to become the woman God created you to be." It also tells me that some things that I've held on to in life are no longer benefiting me and I MUST let them go. It's hard and even sad at times. I've wept more than once over things that I long to be able to do and just can't. I've been angry about it, I've stomped my feet (figuratively) and been extremely discouraged. My emotions have run the entire gamut, but it never changed a thing. After I'm worn out from all of this, I realize that I always come back to the same place of surrender. "Okay, God! I am going to trust that if you take this thing out of my life, I believe you will replace it with something much more valuable...something of eternal value that can never be taken away from me regardless of my health.

Aren't those the things that we long to have in our life? Things that floods, fires, theft, health, financial loss can never touch? I think about that passage in the Bible where the man finds a beautiful pearl buried on some property. So, he goes home and sells ALL he has to go by that piece of land. Because he knows that by doing so, he will have everything he needs for the rest of his life. It was a "pearl of great price", as they say. I believe that today that the things we are asked to sell are our "rights". Our rights to have this or that, our rights to be known a certain way, our rights to have everything turn out the way we want, our rights to comfort...what ever it is in your mind that you say to yourself you have a "right" to. Sometimes we willingly sell some of the things we feel we have a "right" to, but still expect the same pearl. That's just not going to happen. That's a counterfeit pearl you just bought. We either sell "all we have" or we chose to miss out on something of much greater value...peace, trust, hope, love, faith, deep friendship with God, healthy relationships with our family and friends, God moving in our lives with such power that we scarcely recognize that we are living 2008 years past when our Savior paid the ultimate price. We miss out on a transformation beyond our wildest dreams.

Why do we work so hard to keep the land we are living on? Why do we cling to things that clearly have no lasting value? Because they are safe and comfortable? I can't ever remember reading anything in the Old or New Testament that taught about being safe and comfortable. I read about stepping out into the waves to walk on water, I read about whole nations walking on dry ground between two walls of water, men stepping into a furnace and coming out unscathed, a man sleeping with lions for refusing to give up his prayer time and living to see another day. What am I willing to give up to make sure that I do not miss my prayer time? It certainly won't cost me a trip to the dungeon if I do miss it. Maybe not, but I am certain that what it does cost me is a piece of my soul. A chance to encounter the Almighty one...My Alpha and Omega...the Author and Perfecter of my Life! The one who has laid out my beginning, middle and end. Time with a God who figured out who I was going to be BEFORE he laid out the foundations of the world. He thought about ME before he did any of those things. I would say that to go and sell ALL I have is a very small price to pay. Don't hold on to things that hold you back. Let that wonderful pearl called Jesus give you everything you will ever need for the rest of your life.

God is good!
Blessings,
Tanya