April 11, 2008

Wow, this last week has been amazing to say the least. I'm not even sure where to begin because everything wants to spill out of me all at once, which wouldn't make for understanding anything I say very easy. I can sum it all up by saying how great God is.

Some of you may be thinking that I've had a miraculous healing, or even won the lottery...no...none of that. I don't even play "Lotto". No, this comes in the form of God filling my cup with so many blessings that I can't even quantify.

I guess it starts with having all three of my children home over spring break. In the past this would have overwhelmed me with how I was feeling, but as my health increases little by little, I realize how much God has changed me. Every moment seems so much more special. I won't give you a play-by-play of our week, but I'll share my favorite moment. One day this last week I took all three of the kids to the driving range to hit a few buckets of balls. I was not intending to hit any, but once we were there the kids started cheering me on a bit. So, I started hitting a few and although it wasn't always pretty I did indeed smack a few out into the sky. But, as I was standing there taking a much needed rest, I looked forward and I could see all three of my kids lined up in front of me hitting balls too. Having the best time, laughing at each other's "whiff's" and laughing at themselves. Suddenly I noticed that Whitney was staring at me with a huge grin on her face. It startled me a little and then I said, "What, are you laughing at my 'worm burner" I just hit?" And, she just laughed and said, "No, mom, I'm just so happy to see you out with us, hitting balls again!" And, we both got a bit sappy at that moment. But, nothing and I mean nothing could feel better than to hear her say that. To see her giant grin looking back at me and seeing how grown up she has become...and Sydney and Spencer embracing this moment with such joy filled me more than I can even say.

Over this last month I can just see God awaking my spirit like never before. I know some of it has to do with the fact that I've been praying with my best friend twice a week and we have seen some amazing answers to prayer. We have a big one on the burner we know God is going to answer and I look forward to sharing that with you all. But for now, we have been basking in God's incredible peace, joy and favor as we seek his face like never before. This hasn't been easy at times as we both have been met with some resistance as we dig our heels in. I've had a few situations one involving a crazy body symptom I developed for a few hours and one with a relationship that suddenly came to an end. But, I stand firm in my belief that as Ephesians 6:12 says, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." And, I have faith that as the Lord continues to reveal himself to me in new ways everyday, that He will protect me and my family as we pursue his righteousness. I have to admit, during those two difficult events it wasn't my first instinct to have that mind set. But, it didn't take me long to get back on track and keep my eyes focused on what really matters. In the past I would have let this really drain my energy reserves, but God has truly been healing me from the inside out. Its always easy to see the physical healing in our bodies, but its not always as easy to see the spiritual healing and progress that we make. Sometimes we won't see it until we are confronted with a difficult circumstance and then find out how much foundation has actually been laid. I still have much foundation to be laid, but its exciting to see God on the move in the hearts of me and my family. It feels as though the dust is settling just enough that we can get our feet on something stronger than just surviving.

Bob and I actually got away to a little Bed and Breakfast couple weeks ago, and again, what a huge blessing for us. It was only an overnighter (okay, that's not really a word)...but we soaked in every moment. It's the first time in two years we had this chance to go somewhere to just focus on us. Not my health, not to see a doctor, but just to hang out and be a couple again. My cup truly overflows.

It's a great truth to learn that life doesn't have to be "perfect" to be filled up with all the good things God intended us to have. I have a long way to go for my body to be functioning at the level it was designed to...and my kids still bicker once in a while :-)...and sometimes I mess up along the way. But, the more I saturate myself in prayer and God's word, the more my life starts to shine. I'm sure for someone on the outside looking in we really don't have anything going on here that from the world's standard would be considered "overflowing". On the inside, however, it feels as though our Almighty God is truly on the move on our behalf.

I pray that this finds you all seeking God with all your heart, mind and soul. That it is never a waste of time to stop everything and be still before Him. And, there is not one thing that can ever snatch us out of His hand for those of us who believe. And, oh boy, do I believe.

God is GOOD!
Blessings, Tanya