November 27, 2007

Now that the Thanksgiving madness is over I feel like I have the energy to write again. Its funny to say that though, because I really didn't have any "Thanksgiving" responsibilities this year so I'm not sure why it still felt like madness. Maybe its just the extra energy that runs through the house this time of year. My body seems to pick it all up and then in turn I have to go nap to recover just from feeling all the buzz. But, its all good.

I had a lot to be thankful for this year for sure. Last year this time I couldn't even get out of bed to shower and Thanksgiving was spent in my bedroom. I can't tell you how grateful I am to be able to shower every day, run a short errand if I have to and take care of my kids more often. You know that verse in Luke 7:47 "Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven--for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little"? Well, I certainly feel like I have been forgiven much...but my own verse would be, "her many days of little energy, made her love much the days of a tiny bit more energy :-)"...or something like that.

We spent the whole holiday weekend putting up the lights outside our house, our Christmas tree and every piece of holiday decoration we own. Sydney spent a big majority of the time singing the Jackson Five version of "Santa Clause is Coming to Town". We had to shut her down by the 15th time. Then I got busy and started my online Christmas shopping. How nice is that? I love pushing a few buttons and then having the nice man in the big brown van drop me off my goodies. No muss, no fuss...No, "I got knocked down doing my Christmas Shopping at the Mall" lyrics going through my head.

Health wise I'm about the same. Not that I'm complaining...just updating. I am keeping up with the liver detoxing and it still continues to make me really tired. But, I try to back off when I know I have some extra responsibilities coming up. I don't really have any new plans for doctor's appointments or anything else like that on the horizon. I'm going to get through the holiday season and then reassess where things stand. I have my days where I think, "How in the world am I ever going to get better?" And, then I have the other days where I just surrender and try to appreciate the moment and remember how much I have in my life just the way it is.

We have a good friend who has a chronic illness, some similar fatigue issues, but he has some other issues I don't have. He and his family just moved and are planting a new church and I have so much respect for his faith in God. To undertake a church plant while dealing with fatigue and pain puts a lot in perspective for me. And, reminds me that God's grace is sufficient. He has been a real source of encouragement to me whether he knows that or not. Just having someone who understands what its like to walk into a doctor's office, go through the whole history and then get the same response back is really difficult to do over and over again. I'm not alone in this journey. There are many God-fearing, faith-filled Christians who struggle right along side of me...and with incredible determination to serve regardless of their station. I am truly humbled. And, like I shared with him the other day...We often are always looking for that magic bullet that rarely ever comes...and even though I don't need a miracle for my faith to grow, it doesn't keep me from asking for one. And, my faith will grow regardless of the answer God gives to me. He knows what's best for me and so I will trust Him to take care of those things that concern me.

Right now my main prayer request is that I have more than enough energy to be able to make it to all of Whitney's basketball games. Her first one is tomorrow night. These are my last years with my first-born at home and I can literally feel every minute slipping by. I don't want to miss one more minute.

God is Good...Blessings, Tanya