Sunday's, over the past 2.5 years, have always been a difficult day for me. It's when I have watched my family walk out the door to head to church while I am left in bed to have church on my own. The good news is that God always showed up and I always knew I had so much to be grateful for even despite the fact that it was just He and I. God still knows how to "bring down the house" even in a sanctuary of just one.
But, today I went to church with my family and even though it isn't the first time, it has been a while since I was last able to. We sat in the usual spot and today we were surrounded by some of our closest friends. What a difference it makes to be in fellowship, worshiping together, praising God together. And for me it is even sweeter because my friends were praising God along side of me that I was standing there today. How great to have people cheering you on, believing with you for your healing, glad to see you and giving you warm hugs that last until both of you start to tear up. That's what church is all about to me.
What made today worth writing about, though, was reconnecting with a woman that I first met at our church over two years ago. She and her husband had brought us a meal when I first became sick. What makes them so special is that she has MS and struggles everyday just to do the basics. Her husband has a beautiful voice and I listened to him raise such heart-felt praise to the Lord...and I felt like I just needed to be next to her today. To tell her thank you again for the meal they brought and remind her how much it meant to us. And, because I wasn't able to cook anything for such a long time, knowing how much she endures made me realize how much more precious this outpouring was. We take for granted that everyone who reaches out to help us, does it with excess energy and a carefree life. But, that's just not true. My friend, who came and picked my two kids everyday for two years to get them to preschool sacrificed more than I will ever know or more than she would even share. These are the people who inspire me to give more and consume less. People who have disabilities of their own, busy schedules of their own, and still do what ever they can to reach out a hand to families struggling as well. I know that Bob and I have always tried to do this as best we know how and have talked many times about looking forward to the day when we can do more. Really though, today is the day. It's not always about making a meal or picking up somebody else's kids. I have found that sometimes its just praying with someone over the phone who feels completely alone and overwhelmed by their circumstances. Sometimes its just calling someone to say that you are thinking about them. That's what church is truly about. Being Jesus with arms.
I feel grateful to be a part of a congregation that does these things. That reaches out to people even when their own life is less than perfect. Well, let's face it...for my friend with MS, its beyond anything I could know about. Her gift to me is one that will reach into eternity because she is showing me the way. How to truly give regardless of my circumstances. The joy she radiates is something to behold because to shine the way she does while enduring the difficulties in her life says to me that Jesus is more than enough for her. And, that's what I long for too. If I can allow God's light to flow through me to the point that people no longer can see my weaknesses, but only God's strength then everything else in life is just the gravy...the overflow. But, I can't get there on my own. I need people like this woman helping me to break down my own barriers and showing me that I can do more. I need my church to hug me until the tears of refreshment and healing start to flow after I have been wandering in a dry and thirsty land. Life was not meant to be traveled alone and so as I long to be refreshed, may I also become a true refresher. I pray my life will one day have the capacity to reach out and draw people to something pure and lovely and true. I'm still falling down in this department. My words haven't always produced the fruit of life after speaking them. And this, more than anything is what I pray God will do in me, by sending those who have endured far more than I have to show me the way so that in turn I can do the same.
God is good!
Blessings, Tanya
April 27, 2008
April 25, 2008
April 25, 2008
A prayer I found to remind me to always remember to pray!
Father, I'm praying for myself and others (name one or more) in my circle of family and friends to grow in our prayer lives...May we be people of prayer, asking not only for our daily needs to be met but praying for others. May we ask, seek, and knock with right motives, living lives of obedience that are pleasing to You so we may receive whatever we ask. (Matthew 6:11; 1 Samuel 12:23; Matthew 7:7–8; James 4:2–3; 1 John 3:21–22)May our prayers be set before You like incense as we pray without ceasing, praying always without giving up—boldly and with persistence. Help us come before Your throne of grace with confidence and be able to pray as Elijah prayed—fervently, effectively. May we be watchmen on the wall, standing our ground in prayer. (Psalm 141:2a; 1 Thessalonians 5:17; Luke 18:1–5; 11:5–8; Hebrews 4:16; James 5:16b; Ezekiel 33:7; Ephesians 6:10–18)Help us pray in faith, believing we have received what we've asked because we've prayed according to Your will. May our faith be so strong it amazes You! (Mark 11:22–24; 1 John 5:14–15; Matthew 8:5–13)Help us to grow strong in prayer. In Jesus' name, amen.
Jim & Kaye Johns Source: "Prayers for the Moment: One-Minute Scripture Prayers" Copyright September 2006. Reprinted with permission of B&H Publishing Group
Father, I'm praying for myself and others (name one or more) in my circle of family and friends to grow in our prayer lives...May we be people of prayer, asking not only for our daily needs to be met but praying for others. May we ask, seek, and knock with right motives, living lives of obedience that are pleasing to You so we may receive whatever we ask. (Matthew 6:11; 1 Samuel 12:23; Matthew 7:7–8; James 4:2–3; 1 John 3:21–22)May our prayers be set before You like incense as we pray without ceasing, praying always without giving up—boldly and with persistence. Help us come before Your throne of grace with confidence and be able to pray as Elijah prayed—fervently, effectively. May we be watchmen on the wall, standing our ground in prayer. (Psalm 141:2a; 1 Thessalonians 5:17; Luke 18:1–5; 11:5–8; Hebrews 4:16; James 5:16b; Ezekiel 33:7; Ephesians 6:10–18)Help us pray in faith, believing we have received what we've asked because we've prayed according to Your will. May our faith be so strong it amazes You! (Mark 11:22–24; 1 John 5:14–15; Matthew 8:5–13)Help us to grow strong in prayer. In Jesus' name, amen.
Jim & Kaye Johns Source: "Prayers for the Moment: One-Minute Scripture Prayers" Copyright September 2006. Reprinted with permission of B&H Publishing Group
April 14, 2008
April 13th, 2008
The Troubled Tortoise
This story shared by Martha Williamson, Executive Produce of "Touched by an Angel", was sent to me by my friend in Kansas City, going through health issues like I am. I hope you find as much encouragement from what she shares as my friend and I have.
Have a God-filled and blessed day and know that the Lord is always on our side.
God is good!
Blessings, Tanya
April 11, 2008
April 11, 2008
Wow, this last week has been amazing to say the least. I'm not even sure where to begin because everything wants to spill out of me all at once, which wouldn't make for understanding anything I say very easy. I can sum it all up by saying how great God is.
Some of you may be thinking that I've had a miraculous healing, or even won the lottery...no...none of that. I don't even play "Lotto". No, this comes in the form of God filling my cup with so many blessings that I can't even quantify.
I guess it starts with having all three of my children home over spring break. In the past this would have overwhelmed me with how I was feeling, but as my health increases little by little, I realize how much God has changed me. Every moment seems so much more special. I won't give you a play-by-play of our week, but I'll share my favorite moment. One day this last week I took all three of the kids to the driving range to hit a few buckets of balls. I was not intending to hit any, but once we were there the kids started cheering me on a bit. So, I started hitting a few and although it wasn't always pretty I did indeed smack a few out into the sky. But, as I was standing there taking a much needed rest, I looked forward and I could see all three of my kids lined up in front of me hitting balls too. Having the best time, laughing at each other's "whiff's" and laughing at themselves. Suddenly I noticed that Whitney was staring at me with a huge grin on her face. It startled me a little and then I said, "What, are you laughing at my 'worm burner" I just hit?" And, she just laughed and said, "No, mom, I'm just so happy to see you out with us, hitting balls again!" And, we both got a bit sappy at that moment. But, nothing and I mean nothing could feel better than to hear her say that. To see her giant grin looking back at me and seeing how grown up she has become...and Sydney and Spencer embracing this moment with such joy filled me more than I can even say.
Over this last month I can just see God awaking my spirit like never before. I know some of it has to do with the fact that I've been praying with my best friend twice a week and we have seen some amazing answers to prayer. We have a big one on the burner we know God is going to answer and I look forward to sharing that with you all. But for now, we have been basking in God's incredible peace, joy and favor as we seek his face like never before. This hasn't been easy at times as we both have been met with some resistance as we dig our heels in. I've had a few situations one involving a crazy body symptom I developed for a few hours and one with a relationship that suddenly came to an end. But, I stand firm in my belief that as Ephesians 6:12 says, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." And, I have faith that as the Lord continues to reveal himself to me in new ways everyday, that He will protect me and my family as we pursue his righteousness. I have to admit, during those two difficult events it wasn't my first instinct to have that mind set. But, it didn't take me long to get back on track and keep my eyes focused on what really matters. In the past I would have let this really drain my energy reserves, but God has truly been healing me from the inside out. Its always easy to see the physical healing in our bodies, but its not always as easy to see the spiritual healing and progress that we make. Sometimes we won't see it until we are confronted with a difficult circumstance and then find out how much foundation has actually been laid. I still have much foundation to be laid, but its exciting to see God on the move in the hearts of me and my family. It feels as though the dust is settling just enough that we can get our feet on something stronger than just surviving.
Bob and I actually got away to a little Bed and Breakfast couple weeks ago, and again, what a huge blessing for us. It was only an overnighter (okay, that's not really a word)...but we soaked in every moment. It's the first time in two years we had this chance to go somewhere to just focus on us. Not my health, not to see a doctor, but just to hang out and be a couple again. My cup truly overflows.
It's a great truth to learn that life doesn't have to be "perfect" to be filled up with all the good things God intended us to have. I have a long way to go for my body to be functioning at the level it was designed to...and my kids still bicker once in a while :-)...and sometimes I mess up along the way. But, the more I saturate myself in prayer and God's word, the more my life starts to shine. I'm sure for someone on the outside looking in we really don't have anything going on here that from the world's standard would be considered "overflowing". On the inside, however, it feels as though our Almighty God is truly on the move on our behalf.
I pray that this finds you all seeking God with all your heart, mind and soul. That it is never a waste of time to stop everything and be still before Him. And, there is not one thing that can ever snatch us out of His hand for those of us who believe. And, oh boy, do I believe.
God is GOOD!
Blessings, Tanya
Some of you may be thinking that I've had a miraculous healing, or even won the lottery...no...none of that. I don't even play "Lotto". No, this comes in the form of God filling my cup with so many blessings that I can't even quantify.
I guess it starts with having all three of my children home over spring break. In the past this would have overwhelmed me with how I was feeling, but as my health increases little by little, I realize how much God has changed me. Every moment seems so much more special. I won't give you a play-by-play of our week, but I'll share my favorite moment. One day this last week I took all three of the kids to the driving range to hit a few buckets of balls. I was not intending to hit any, but once we were there the kids started cheering me on a bit. So, I started hitting a few and although it wasn't always pretty I did indeed smack a few out into the sky. But, as I was standing there taking a much needed rest, I looked forward and I could see all three of my kids lined up in front of me hitting balls too. Having the best time, laughing at each other's "whiff's" and laughing at themselves. Suddenly I noticed that Whitney was staring at me with a huge grin on her face. It startled me a little and then I said, "What, are you laughing at my 'worm burner" I just hit?" And, she just laughed and said, "No, mom, I'm just so happy to see you out with us, hitting balls again!" And, we both got a bit sappy at that moment. But, nothing and I mean nothing could feel better than to hear her say that. To see her giant grin looking back at me and seeing how grown up she has become...and Sydney and Spencer embracing this moment with such joy filled me more than I can even say.
Over this last month I can just see God awaking my spirit like never before. I know some of it has to do with the fact that I've been praying with my best friend twice a week and we have seen some amazing answers to prayer. We have a big one on the burner we know God is going to answer and I look forward to sharing that with you all. But for now, we have been basking in God's incredible peace, joy and favor as we seek his face like never before. This hasn't been easy at times as we both have been met with some resistance as we dig our heels in. I've had a few situations one involving a crazy body symptom I developed for a few hours and one with a relationship that suddenly came to an end. But, I stand firm in my belief that as Ephesians 6:12 says, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." And, I have faith that as the Lord continues to reveal himself to me in new ways everyday, that He will protect me and my family as we pursue his righteousness. I have to admit, during those two difficult events it wasn't my first instinct to have that mind set. But, it didn't take me long to get back on track and keep my eyes focused on what really matters. In the past I would have let this really drain my energy reserves, but God has truly been healing me from the inside out. Its always easy to see the physical healing in our bodies, but its not always as easy to see the spiritual healing and progress that we make. Sometimes we won't see it until we are confronted with a difficult circumstance and then find out how much foundation has actually been laid. I still have much foundation to be laid, but its exciting to see God on the move in the hearts of me and my family. It feels as though the dust is settling just enough that we can get our feet on something stronger than just surviving.
Bob and I actually got away to a little Bed and Breakfast couple weeks ago, and again, what a huge blessing for us. It was only an overnighter (okay, that's not really a word)...but we soaked in every moment. It's the first time in two years we had this chance to go somewhere to just focus on us. Not my health, not to see a doctor, but just to hang out and be a couple again. My cup truly overflows.
It's a great truth to learn that life doesn't have to be "perfect" to be filled up with all the good things God intended us to have. I have a long way to go for my body to be functioning at the level it was designed to...and my kids still bicker once in a while :-)...and sometimes I mess up along the way. But, the more I saturate myself in prayer and God's word, the more my life starts to shine. I'm sure for someone on the outside looking in we really don't have anything going on here that from the world's standard would be considered "overflowing". On the inside, however, it feels as though our Almighty God is truly on the move on our behalf.
I pray that this finds you all seeking God with all your heart, mind and soul. That it is never a waste of time to stop everything and be still before Him. And, there is not one thing that can ever snatch us out of His hand for those of us who believe. And, oh boy, do I believe.
God is GOOD!
Blessings, Tanya
April 4, 2008
April 4, 2008
It's not always easy for me to make changes in my life. Even if I know it will benefit me or my health greatly. Sometimes I sort of have to be forced into it. Sad, but true. I was thinking about how four years ago I felt encouraged to stop drinking coffee because it made me feel so lousy afterwards. But, I so loved the ritual of going to the coffee shop, the smells, the taste. Everything was so comforting to me and felt like a mini-treat in the middle of my crazy life of chasing around three kids. Sort of like taking a bubble bath in the middle of the day. How could something that was so comforting and enjoyable also so unhealthy? It seemed so harmless. And, yet, now that I've researched these last several years on the damage caffeine does to our adrenals glands, I can see why my body was saying "stop putting that stuff in me" all the while my internal dialogue just kept overriding the messages.
I seem to have a habit of overriding my body's messages, and maybe other people's messages too. It's hard for me to let go of certain things because they are familiar, comforting and part of who I am or have been in the past. Yet, my soul comes into play too and it has a say. It says, "I want you to become the woman God created you to be." It also tells me that some things that I've held on to in life are no longer benefiting me and I MUST let them go. It's hard and even sad at times. I've wept more than once over things that I long to be able to do and just can't. I've been angry about it, I've stomped my feet (figuratively) and been extremely discouraged. My emotions have run the entire gamut, but it never changed a thing. After I'm worn out from all of this, I realize that I always come back to the same place of surrender. "Okay, God! I am going to trust that if you take this thing out of my life, I believe you will replace it with something much more valuable...something of eternal value that can never be taken away from me regardless of my health.
Aren't those the things that we long to have in our life? Things that floods, fires, theft, health, financial loss can never touch? I think about that passage in the Bible where the man finds a beautiful pearl buried on some property. So, he goes home and sells ALL he has to go by that piece of land. Because he knows that by doing so, he will have everything he needs for the rest of his life. It was a "pearl of great price", as they say. I believe that today that the things we are asked to sell are our "rights". Our rights to have this or that, our rights to be known a certain way, our rights to have everything turn out the way we want, our rights to comfort...what ever it is in your mind that you say to yourself you have a "right" to. Sometimes we willingly sell some of the things we feel we have a "right" to, but still expect the same pearl. That's just not going to happen. That's a counterfeit pearl you just bought. We either sell "all we have" or we chose to miss out on something of much greater value...peace, trust, hope, love, faith, deep friendship with God, healthy relationships with our family and friends, God moving in our lives with such power that we scarcely recognize that we are living 2008 years past when our Savior paid the ultimate price. We miss out on a transformation beyond our wildest dreams.
Why do we work so hard to keep the land we are living on? Why do we cling to things that clearly have no lasting value? Because they are safe and comfortable? I can't ever remember reading anything in the Old or New Testament that taught about being safe and comfortable. I read about stepping out into the waves to walk on water, I read about whole nations walking on dry ground between two walls of water, men stepping into a furnace and coming out unscathed, a man sleeping with lions for refusing to give up his prayer time and living to see another day. What am I willing to give up to make sure that I do not miss my prayer time? It certainly won't cost me a trip to the dungeon if I do miss it. Maybe not, but I am certain that what it does cost me is a piece of my soul. A chance to encounter the Almighty one...My Alpha and Omega...the Author and Perfecter of my Life! The one who has laid out my beginning, middle and end. Time with a God who figured out who I was going to be BEFORE he laid out the foundations of the world. He thought about ME before he did any of those things. I would say that to go and sell ALL I have is a very small price to pay. Don't hold on to things that hold you back. Let that wonderful pearl called Jesus give you everything you will ever need for the rest of your life.
God is good!
Blessings,
Tanya
I seem to have a habit of overriding my body's messages, and maybe other people's messages too. It's hard for me to let go of certain things because they are familiar, comforting and part of who I am or have been in the past. Yet, my soul comes into play too and it has a say. It says, "I want you to become the woman God created you to be." It also tells me that some things that I've held on to in life are no longer benefiting me and I MUST let them go. It's hard and even sad at times. I've wept more than once over things that I long to be able to do and just can't. I've been angry about it, I've stomped my feet (figuratively) and been extremely discouraged. My emotions have run the entire gamut, but it never changed a thing. After I'm worn out from all of this, I realize that I always come back to the same place of surrender. "Okay, God! I am going to trust that if you take this thing out of my life, I believe you will replace it with something much more valuable...something of eternal value that can never be taken away from me regardless of my health.
Aren't those the things that we long to have in our life? Things that floods, fires, theft, health, financial loss can never touch? I think about that passage in the Bible where the man finds a beautiful pearl buried on some property. So, he goes home and sells ALL he has to go by that piece of land. Because he knows that by doing so, he will have everything he needs for the rest of his life. It was a "pearl of great price", as they say. I believe that today that the things we are asked to sell are our "rights". Our rights to have this or that, our rights to be known a certain way, our rights to have everything turn out the way we want, our rights to comfort...what ever it is in your mind that you say to yourself you have a "right" to. Sometimes we willingly sell some of the things we feel we have a "right" to, but still expect the same pearl. That's just not going to happen. That's a counterfeit pearl you just bought. We either sell "all we have" or we chose to miss out on something of much greater value...peace, trust, hope, love, faith, deep friendship with God, healthy relationships with our family and friends, God moving in our lives with such power that we scarcely recognize that we are living 2008 years past when our Savior paid the ultimate price. We miss out on a transformation beyond our wildest dreams.
Why do we work so hard to keep the land we are living on? Why do we cling to things that clearly have no lasting value? Because they are safe and comfortable? I can't ever remember reading anything in the Old or New Testament that taught about being safe and comfortable. I read about stepping out into the waves to walk on water, I read about whole nations walking on dry ground between two walls of water, men stepping into a furnace and coming out unscathed, a man sleeping with lions for refusing to give up his prayer time and living to see another day. What am I willing to give up to make sure that I do not miss my prayer time? It certainly won't cost me a trip to the dungeon if I do miss it. Maybe not, but I am certain that what it does cost me is a piece of my soul. A chance to encounter the Almighty one...My Alpha and Omega...the Author and Perfecter of my Life! The one who has laid out my beginning, middle and end. Time with a God who figured out who I was going to be BEFORE he laid out the foundations of the world. He thought about ME before he did any of those things. I would say that to go and sell ALL I have is a very small price to pay. Don't hold on to things that hold you back. Let that wonderful pearl called Jesus give you everything you will ever need for the rest of your life.
God is good!
Blessings,
Tanya
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