Friends As Family

Proverbs 18:24
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

There have been times in my life when my family, for various reasons, just couldn't be there for me. Not because they didn't want to be but it just wasn't possible at that moment in time. One of the greatest gifts my mom gave to me growing up was relationships. Since we lived in Alaska away from our extended family we had many different friends that either "adopted" us into their family or we adopted them into ours. It is a gift I have taken with me on this crazy, and wild journey of life.

One of these times was when my mom was about to pass away after a long battle with cancer and a bone marrow transplant that didn't go as planned. I remember getting the phone call from dad saying that we were at the end and to come to the hospital right away. At 24 year old I felt like my whole world had just completely crashed in on me. How was I going to get through this? How would I literally, physically survive. Because at the moment I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach and put my head in a vice. When I got to the hospital it was just the three of "us". Me, my dad and brother. We were in such a state of shock that none of us really knew what to do or say. I called my mom's best friend and she came right away to the hospital. They were letting us come in and out of the room to see my mom, but she was ventilated and unresponsive. For whatever reason my mom was still hanging on though. Definitely it was for us because that was who she was. I, however, was feeling extremely selfish and was near histeria telling her to hang on. But, my mom's friend stepped in and put her arms around me and told me that I needed to give her permission to go be with the Lord. I couldn't believe what she was asking me to do and at the same time I knew she was right. So, I went in her room one final time with my dad and brother. I leaned over her sobbing and choked out the words, "Mom, its okay...we'll be okay...you can go now...I promise we'll be okay." As soon as I got the last words out my mom's heart immediately stopped. The nurse, who had seen this many times working in the ICU, had never seen someone's heart stop instantly like that.

There are not many people in this world who have the capacity to step forward for someone outside of their family unit and say the words that nobody has the courage to say. But, I give thanks everyday for the strength she had and the gift of allowing me to let my mom go during her final hour.

As I raise my kids now and tend to be very protective and selective on who they spend time with, have still allowed my children to have relationships with people who I know carry that same courage inside. I am their mom and I know them better than anyone. But, I also know myself and realize there are gifts that others have to offer them that I cannot. I continue to honor my mother's gift to me by passing it along to them. I pray that it will be passed on from generation to generation allowing their lives to be enriched by those that God has blessed.