Happy 6th Birthday Spencer!!!!!
Nice curvey nose :-)
All better now!!!!
June 23, 2008
June 23, 2008
There is no such thing as a boring day at our home. I love it and I wouldn't have it any other way. Friday's surgery to have Whitney's nose reset went really great. As luck would have it for a forlorn teenager feeling sad about missing so much basketball, there happen to be a Very handsome boy there having the same surgery. As luck would get even better, they were put in recovery rooms right across from each other. Ah, the life of a young teenager. Other than that, it has been a really quick healing, Praise the Lord!!! No pain medications or anything. She did boycott church on Sunday however due to the very big, white cast on her nose. I let her out of it just this once because I could sort of understand. Although she did have to go grocery shopping with me. We kept a tally of all the people who gave her "the look", and extra points for anyone who actually said something. The dirty looks, we assume, were from the people who thought she had plastic surgery for plain vanity reasons, which we had to chuckle about too.
Life this summer (all two days of it), have far surpassed my expectations even though I'm still only 1/2 way to total healing. I do have my days of feeling frustrated, wondering what more God has in store for me on this journey. I figure I've come this far, and been through so much that I may as well squeeze every last piece of life out of it that I can. There have been so many lessons that I really don't know if all of them are quantifiable by words, but certainly by my spirit. I think back on when I first started this journey and really I don't know where it started. Was it truly when I first became sick? I'm not sure because there was so many signs leading up to it. Now I look back with a different perspective, thankful for what I know now but wishing I had known more. Will this process help me be a better "listener" to my own life going forward? I hope so.
Now that I'm able to be getting around regularly I struggle again to make not just the "good & better" choices with my time, but the Best choice. The Lord has recently placed a scripture on my heart that I'm doing a study on. It's from Psalm 90: 12 & 17 "Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." And, "May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us--yes, establish the work of our hands."
These two verses very much sum up the cry of my heart. I have always had a sense of life's fragility just because of losing so many people that were dear to me. But, I have always struggled how to use it to propel me forward rather than paralyze me with fear. Fear of not doing enough or being enough. Mostly by the worlds standards. So, as I begin this new season of my life measuring it against what the Father has in mind for me, asking Him to show me how best to use my time, I work at disciplining myself to keep that title of "Mrs. Slowski". It suits me and keeps me bound to the side of Christ. I have dedicated all that I am and all that I have to the Lord in my life but, knowing what I know now...it's much different...it's deeper and richer and more rewarding. To know that I can be stretched this far without snapping in two gives me great faith for the future. I can number my days and make every hour count without doing it in fear. And, to see Him establish the works of my hands rather than running ahead asking Him to bless what I want first is going to be a welcomed journey I'm more than ready to take.
Next school year will be the first time in over 15 years that I will not have a "job" to go to, or a child at home for at least part of the day. It comes with some sadness of how quickly my little people have grown up. But, it also comes with excitement. I have no idea what God has in mind at this point and I am eagerly seeking Him daily for direction. I find it most interesting that this season intersects with me getting significantly better, and yet not 100%. Well enough to spend more time and energy in His presence, but not well enough to go be "out in the world" all day.
I pray that as I share this very personal journey with all of you, that God would be revealed as the source of my healing, the source of my growth, and the anchor to which has held me in place. With out His peace, hope and love, I would have never made it this far. And, I also share this with you as a source of accountability. Most of you know how very far from perfect I am...that I have fallen and no doubt been a disappointment on some level. Yet, know that everyday I do try to get up and do things better and different and more Christ-like because ultimately we all want to stand before our Savior one day and hear Him say, "Well done my good and faithful servant." My story is far from written and I have much to do. But, I feel as though I've been given a fresh set of eyes...Not all of sudden, but day-by-day His picture becomes a little bit more clear to me. My prayer is that those who struggle, suffer, feel left behind, forgotten about, abandoned, betrayed, gossiped about, lied about, brushed off, fired or "let go", bankrupt, divorced, lost a loved-one, watching your body deteriorate and fall apart, depressed and sad, or just can't seem to make that deeper connection you desire with the Lord...will one day look up into the eyes of the Savior and realize He is the only one who truly knows our pain. He is the only one who can walk with us during our darkest hours. And, He is the only one who can help us live life filled with joy even when our circumstances say we should feel otherwise. I can honestly say this to be true.
Well, today was "just" another day at Casa de Gore. For me, for us, it is always more than that. The house was filled with batches of cookies, muffins & banana bread being shuffled in and out of the oven, loud & crazy worship music was playing...and the kids and I celebrating just being together and doing simple things. "Just another day?" Not here!
God is Good!!!!!!
Blessings, Tanya
Life this summer (all two days of it), have far surpassed my expectations even though I'm still only 1/2 way to total healing. I do have my days of feeling frustrated, wondering what more God has in store for me on this journey. I figure I've come this far, and been through so much that I may as well squeeze every last piece of life out of it that I can. There have been so many lessons that I really don't know if all of them are quantifiable by words, but certainly by my spirit. I think back on when I first started this journey and really I don't know where it started. Was it truly when I first became sick? I'm not sure because there was so many signs leading up to it. Now I look back with a different perspective, thankful for what I know now but wishing I had known more. Will this process help me be a better "listener" to my own life going forward? I hope so.
Now that I'm able to be getting around regularly I struggle again to make not just the "good & better" choices with my time, but the Best choice. The Lord has recently placed a scripture on my heart that I'm doing a study on. It's from Psalm 90: 12 & 17 "Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." And, "May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us--yes, establish the work of our hands."
These two verses very much sum up the cry of my heart. I have always had a sense of life's fragility just because of losing so many people that were dear to me. But, I have always struggled how to use it to propel me forward rather than paralyze me with fear. Fear of not doing enough or being enough. Mostly by the worlds standards. So, as I begin this new season of my life measuring it against what the Father has in mind for me, asking Him to show me how best to use my time, I work at disciplining myself to keep that title of "Mrs. Slowski". It suits me and keeps me bound to the side of Christ. I have dedicated all that I am and all that I have to the Lord in my life but, knowing what I know now...it's much different...it's deeper and richer and more rewarding. To know that I can be stretched this far without snapping in two gives me great faith for the future. I can number my days and make every hour count without doing it in fear. And, to see Him establish the works of my hands rather than running ahead asking Him to bless what I want first is going to be a welcomed journey I'm more than ready to take.
Next school year will be the first time in over 15 years that I will not have a "job" to go to, or a child at home for at least part of the day. It comes with some sadness of how quickly my little people have grown up. But, it also comes with excitement. I have no idea what God has in mind at this point and I am eagerly seeking Him daily for direction. I find it most interesting that this season intersects with me getting significantly better, and yet not 100%. Well enough to spend more time and energy in His presence, but not well enough to go be "out in the world" all day.
I pray that as I share this very personal journey with all of you, that God would be revealed as the source of my healing, the source of my growth, and the anchor to which has held me in place. With out His peace, hope and love, I would have never made it this far. And, I also share this with you as a source of accountability. Most of you know how very far from perfect I am...that I have fallen and no doubt been a disappointment on some level. Yet, know that everyday I do try to get up and do things better and different and more Christ-like because ultimately we all want to stand before our Savior one day and hear Him say, "Well done my good and faithful servant." My story is far from written and I have much to do. But, I feel as though I've been given a fresh set of eyes...Not all of sudden, but day-by-day His picture becomes a little bit more clear to me. My prayer is that those who struggle, suffer, feel left behind, forgotten about, abandoned, betrayed, gossiped about, lied about, brushed off, fired or "let go", bankrupt, divorced, lost a loved-one, watching your body deteriorate and fall apart, depressed and sad, or just can't seem to make that deeper connection you desire with the Lord...will one day look up into the eyes of the Savior and realize He is the only one who truly knows our pain. He is the only one who can walk with us during our darkest hours. And, He is the only one who can help us live life filled with joy even when our circumstances say we should feel otherwise. I can honestly say this to be true.
Well, today was "just" another day at Casa de Gore. For me, for us, it is always more than that. The house was filled with batches of cookies, muffins & banana bread being shuffled in and out of the oven, loud & crazy worship music was playing...and the kids and I celebrating just being together and doing simple things. "Just another day?" Not here!
God is Good!!!!!!
Blessings, Tanya
June 16, 2008
Beautiful, beautiful sunshine!!! The kids spent hours playing in the back yard pool.
Whitney at the ER in Wenatchee after breaking her nose. She wasn't thrilled that I took this picture, but I figure once everything is all said and done, we'll look back on this and have a great laugh! Just not yet :-).
Whitney & her friend Paige sounding very confident before Whitney got her nose broke 7 hours later :-).
June 16, 2008
Is it really the middle of June already? Today is the last day of school for Spencer and tomorrow the girls will finish up their last day. As the kids breath a sigh of relief that end is finally here, I can't help but look back and reflect how much our entire family has grown and changed. On the one hand its exciting to see Sydney and Spencer gaining confidence in so many areas of their life, enjoying new friendships, and feeling like they just can't grow up quick enough. On the other side, I see how quickly it all goes by as Whitney prepares for her sophomore year. I can't stop time or slow it down. I certainly wouldn't want to for her sake. She is also gaining more confidence and self-assurance. My evenings are filled with reading books about teenagers and how to do the best job I can as her mother to prepare her for a world that is much different than the one I left high school for. There's constantly this mental check list going on in my mind of what wisdom, what information, what skills still need to be imparted that aren't there yet. The only thing that brings me great peace is that I know God has her in the palm of his hand. I know also that she has her own relationship with Him that she will be able to draw upon as time goes by. The relationship has slowly been evolving these last couple years. And, while I enjoy encouraging her to spread her wings and follow her hearts desire, I know that I have my own wings to attend to.
Next year will be the first year that all three of my kids will be in school all day at the same time. It has been 15 years since I last had my days free. It opens up so many possibilities and also a lot of reflection. Will I be well enough to do the things that God laid upon my heart years ago? Do those things apply now, or has God given me a new heart with a different purpose than I once thought? I don't know, but its time to begin to open up some of those old doors that I closed so tightly to first and foremost be the mom I had always dreamed of being. To give my kids those things I didn't have and to instill a new heritage that would allow them to be emotionally and spiritually healthy people. To watch Whitney making her way through high school and having so much fun, being a positive influence on those around her reassures me that everything I thought I was giving up to solely focus on parenting was more than worth it. To hear Sydney and Spencer share their own version of life and how vigorously they embrace it makes all other dreams pale in comparison.
We traveled to Wenatchee this weekend for one of Whitney's tournaments and the first night was so crazy trying to figure out where everyone was going to sleep. Sydney and Spencer just melted down on us because they wanted to sleep downstairs with Whitney and her friend. I felt like I would never bring them on another trip again. But, after realizing how sleep deprived and over stimulated they were from more sun than we know how to handle and lots of swimming...things finally started to fall into place. Smiles were abounding, and we had all settled into having fun again. Whitney was playing three games on Saturday and two on Sunday. On the third game which started at 7 p.m., towards the end, a girl that Whitney was guarding threw her elbow right across the bridge of Whitney's nose. I could hear this loud crack noise and realized that blood was going to soon be spewing out. Sure enough, the drama began. After about 20 minutes of trying to get the bleeding to stop, we were able to get her up to the ER and have someone take a look at it. He confirmed what we thought and sent us on our way. So, yesterday Whitney was not able to play. But, she showed up and cheered her team on. I was so proud of her for being willing to sit on the bench and encourage the rest of the girls even though her nose was swelling by the minute from all of that heat and extra cheering she was doing.
On the drive home we stopped in Leavenworth and got ice cream at the Cold Stone with another mom and daughter, then finally rolled in around 6 p.m. last night. It was definitely an exciting journey, but once again, I realized that even through it all we managed to stick together, have fun and just be grateful for the time together. Maybe with me being sick these last couple years we all just realize how quickly life can change and how fragile it can be. When I drove to Wenatchee last year, just the drive alone wiped me out and I had to spend a couple hours in bed just to recover. This year I was able to do all the basic stuff and didn't really have time to take a nap. I did pay for it later, but the fact was I was able to do it. We all talked about how different things are now that I'm better and how grateful we are for God's healing power in my life. My kids have learned a lot, they continue to teach me a lot and I still have so much more to learn. Its never ending.
If there is one thing I feel God has instilled in me through everything, its the ability to see the bigger picture. I wasn't always that way which probably lead to such a lack of patience on my part. But, being able to see how every opportunity today with my kids will benefit them 20 years from now raising their own families, makes every trip to the doctor's office, every fever in the middle of the night, every toe-to-toe match with my son :-), and every quiet moment with my girls talking and giggling, so worth it...It will be gone far too quickly!
God is good!
Blessings, Tanya
Next year will be the first year that all three of my kids will be in school all day at the same time. It has been 15 years since I last had my days free. It opens up so many possibilities and also a lot of reflection. Will I be well enough to do the things that God laid upon my heart years ago? Do those things apply now, or has God given me a new heart with a different purpose than I once thought? I don't know, but its time to begin to open up some of those old doors that I closed so tightly to first and foremost be the mom I had always dreamed of being. To give my kids those things I didn't have and to instill a new heritage that would allow them to be emotionally and spiritually healthy people. To watch Whitney making her way through high school and having so much fun, being a positive influence on those around her reassures me that everything I thought I was giving up to solely focus on parenting was more than worth it. To hear Sydney and Spencer share their own version of life and how vigorously they embrace it makes all other dreams pale in comparison.
We traveled to Wenatchee this weekend for one of Whitney's tournaments and the first night was so crazy trying to figure out where everyone was going to sleep. Sydney and Spencer just melted down on us because they wanted to sleep downstairs with Whitney and her friend. I felt like I would never bring them on another trip again. But, after realizing how sleep deprived and over stimulated they were from more sun than we know how to handle and lots of swimming...things finally started to fall into place. Smiles were abounding, and we had all settled into having fun again. Whitney was playing three games on Saturday and two on Sunday. On the third game which started at 7 p.m., towards the end, a girl that Whitney was guarding threw her elbow right across the bridge of Whitney's nose. I could hear this loud crack noise and realized that blood was going to soon be spewing out. Sure enough, the drama began. After about 20 minutes of trying to get the bleeding to stop, we were able to get her up to the ER and have someone take a look at it. He confirmed what we thought and sent us on our way. So, yesterday Whitney was not able to play. But, she showed up and cheered her team on. I was so proud of her for being willing to sit on the bench and encourage the rest of the girls even though her nose was swelling by the minute from all of that heat and extra cheering she was doing.
On the drive home we stopped in Leavenworth and got ice cream at the Cold Stone with another mom and daughter, then finally rolled in around 6 p.m. last night. It was definitely an exciting journey, but once again, I realized that even through it all we managed to stick together, have fun and just be grateful for the time together. Maybe with me being sick these last couple years we all just realize how quickly life can change and how fragile it can be. When I drove to Wenatchee last year, just the drive alone wiped me out and I had to spend a couple hours in bed just to recover. This year I was able to do all the basic stuff and didn't really have time to take a nap. I did pay for it later, but the fact was I was able to do it. We all talked about how different things are now that I'm better and how grateful we are for God's healing power in my life. My kids have learned a lot, they continue to teach me a lot and I still have so much more to learn. Its never ending.
If there is one thing I feel God has instilled in me through everything, its the ability to see the bigger picture. I wasn't always that way which probably lead to such a lack of patience on my part. But, being able to see how every opportunity today with my kids will benefit them 20 years from now raising their own families, makes every trip to the doctor's office, every fever in the middle of the night, every toe-to-toe match with my son :-), and every quiet moment with my girls talking and giggling, so worth it...It will be gone far too quickly!
God is good!
Blessings, Tanya
June 6, 2008
June 6, 2008
I'm so thankful that God has allowed me to be well enough during this season of the lives of my kids. I don't know how we would be managing things if I were still in bed and unable to drive. It's an exciting time at Casa De Gore, but incredibly busy. The life of a teenager still dominates most of our time, but to be honest you won't hear us complain very much. We are enjoying seeing Whitney blossom in so many areas of her life. And, she has been a great example to Sydney and Spencer. It's a joy to hear them being excited about following in her foot steps.
I think gone are the days of us planning a leisurely summer with trips here and there. Right now our schedule totally rotates around Whitney's summer basketball schedule. Her new high school team has formed for the month of June. So, she has been playing in tournaments nearly every weekend. It's exciting for us to be a part of a new high school program and lay down a strong support base for this school. There is so much pride already in making this process a positive one and to lay a strong foundation down for those that follow behind.
Whitney seems to be moving towards being on Varsity, although she would be fine with JV. She just loves to play, so her motto is just put her anywhere she can run up and down the court. I love that about her. No muss - No fuss!!! But, she has really improved since Winter and she has been playing on a separate league this Spring (while playing golf...yeesh) with girls that are older than her. We think this experience has given her some good confidence for moving up this next season. This weekend she will be playing in a tournament at Meadowdale High School with the Varsity squad, and next weekend it will be off to Wenatchee. At the end of June she will rejoin her Select team and travel to Oregon City. The next weekend will be in Seattle, and then a short break so that we can take our vacation to Spokane/Idaho. We get back on a Sunday from Idaho (12 hour drive) and she turns around and heads back to Spokane again for a four day tournament over there. I think that will be her last one...we pray.
Somewhere amongst all this craziness there will be three birthdays stuffed in to the mix, Sydney and Spencer's summer camps, driving school for Whitney and hopefully a few rounds of golf. It all sounds good in theory but I feel tired already :-). I guess it will be a good kind of tired.
I recently went to see one of my naturpathic doctors and she has been helping me sort out my hormone confusion. I'm taking thyroid, adrenal and progesterone hormone creams and sometimes I can really feel out of sorts. So, I'm still trying to get that dialed in. She also started me on a supplement that is used to heal the intestinal system and we are hoping that it will help me be able to tolerate more foods. We'll see. The good news is that I've been able to tolerate the new supplement and for me that 99% of the battle. Any good that comes out of it is just the gravy :-). God just continues to give me guidance and healing one step at a time. It is true that when we ask things according to His will...He does answer us. I'm awe struck at the times I just feel so stuck in this process and as I wait patiently and have faith that the answer will come, it eventually does. But, when I get impatient and try to figure everything out on my own, that's when I notice things get difficult.
I can say for the first time in over three years that I am actually looking forward to this summer. I know that I will be able to get some sunshine, spend quality time with my family and enjoy a break from the regular winter schedule. I feel so incredibly blessed by my family and even though these years have been painfully difficult, to see how we stayed together through it all means more to me than anything. We certainly aren't perfect and have our "moments" but I love how the Lord has knit us together just as He does when we are in our mother's womb. It's just amazing grace that has been poured out to us and we realize it and are so grateful.
God is good!
Blessings, Tanya
I think gone are the days of us planning a leisurely summer with trips here and there. Right now our schedule totally rotates around Whitney's summer basketball schedule. Her new high school team has formed for the month of June. So, she has been playing in tournaments nearly every weekend. It's exciting for us to be a part of a new high school program and lay down a strong support base for this school. There is so much pride already in making this process a positive one and to lay a strong foundation down for those that follow behind.
Whitney seems to be moving towards being on Varsity, although she would be fine with JV. She just loves to play, so her motto is just put her anywhere she can run up and down the court. I love that about her. No muss - No fuss!!! But, she has really improved since Winter and she has been playing on a separate league this Spring (while playing golf...yeesh) with girls that are older than her. We think this experience has given her some good confidence for moving up this next season. This weekend she will be playing in a tournament at Meadowdale High School with the Varsity squad, and next weekend it will be off to Wenatchee. At the end of June she will rejoin her Select team and travel to Oregon City. The next weekend will be in Seattle, and then a short break so that we can take our vacation to Spokane/Idaho. We get back on a Sunday from Idaho (12 hour drive) and she turns around and heads back to Spokane again for a four day tournament over there. I think that will be her last one...we pray.
Somewhere amongst all this craziness there will be three birthdays stuffed in to the mix, Sydney and Spencer's summer camps, driving school for Whitney and hopefully a few rounds of golf. It all sounds good in theory but I feel tired already :-). I guess it will be a good kind of tired.
I recently went to see one of my naturpathic doctors and she has been helping me sort out my hormone confusion. I'm taking thyroid, adrenal and progesterone hormone creams and sometimes I can really feel out of sorts. So, I'm still trying to get that dialed in. She also started me on a supplement that is used to heal the intestinal system and we are hoping that it will help me be able to tolerate more foods. We'll see. The good news is that I've been able to tolerate the new supplement and for me that 99% of the battle. Any good that comes out of it is just the gravy :-). God just continues to give me guidance and healing one step at a time. It is true that when we ask things according to His will...He does answer us. I'm awe struck at the times I just feel so stuck in this process and as I wait patiently and have faith that the answer will come, it eventually does. But, when I get impatient and try to figure everything out on my own, that's when I notice things get difficult.
I can say for the first time in over three years that I am actually looking forward to this summer. I know that I will be able to get some sunshine, spend quality time with my family and enjoy a break from the regular winter schedule. I feel so incredibly blessed by my family and even though these years have been painfully difficult, to see how we stayed together through it all means more to me than anything. We certainly aren't perfect and have our "moments" but I love how the Lord has knit us together just as He does when we are in our mother's womb. It's just amazing grace that has been poured out to us and we realize it and are so grateful.
God is good!
Blessings, Tanya
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